Keep in touch

There are so many ways to keep in touch sometimes it is just a Facebook post that makes you feel connected or a tweet.  Those things let the world at large know you are around, alive, and have kept sort of current.

The kind of keeping in touch I'm referring to is a two way conversation. Used be with letters, then the phone, then more social ways evolved, texting, snap chat, Instagram, Facebook.  I am actually a proponent of social media. I think it makes us closer as a larger society. And it has both cut down on face-to-face interactions and facilitated them.  There seem to be many cases of people connecting on Facebook after years of no contact and then finding each other on Facebook and resuming an actual relationship.  There is also the case of being friends on Facebook and never actually doing anything more than "liking" posts.

What I like about FB and Instagram is that if you know a person who posts you get a glimpse of what is going on in their world.  Therefore, when you do have a conversation you have lots to talk about if you listen and ask questions about what they post.  They can no longer answer the, "What have you been up to" query with "Nothing."  You have evidence that they been somewhere, done something and documented it!  I think the hardest thing about talking to people is figuring out what they are interested in and asking questions without prying.  It seems  a topic is open game if they have posted on social media.  Instant conversation!

One thing I am working on is not taking it personally if people don't get back to me.  I have to keep in mind that I am not always at the top of their to do list, and that isn't a problem it is a reality, everyone is busy and that good friends and acquaintances will get back to me.  If it is important I can contact them again in a different way since there are so many ways to connect.

I have to tell you a personal message via a card or letter is still fun and no matter what e-means we have available a snail mail letter is still pretty cool!  Randomly sent postcards are fun and unexpected.

Maybe it is time to head to the store and get a card for...........

Sorting

There is a lot of information out there about "downsizing", decluttering, cleaning your closets, tidying your world.  The three best books I have ever read on the topic are, The life changing magic of cleaning up by Marie Kondo, Clutter Control: Putting your home on a diet by Jeff Campbell and the Clean Team, and ____________.

The first books talks about only keeping things that bring you joy, and focuses on what you keep not what you get rid of.  The Clean Team book is one of the first I read about decluttering and it set me on the path of decluttering my life so that I didn't spend so much time looking for things. And the third discussed ways to organize that are not traditional, it was focused on the truly chronic "clutteree" and has some really good out of the box ideas for storage that works for people when ordinary files, drawers, and closets don't.

I am beginning to feel like an expert, having just moved twice in less than a year and sold one of the houses we moved from after 24 years.

Two of the most important things I learned are, first, unless it is personally created or an heirloom nearly everything can be replaced, and second, we had a lot of stuff that took more energy to store than we took pleasure in. Hard as it was to go through our vast amounts of stuff, going through it was like taking huge boulders off of our shoulders. It seems trite to say that but it really is true.

One other observation is that sooner or later this has to be done, and I frankly don't really want to go through my parents stuff, so I therefore don't want my kids to have to go through all of my things.  It is inevitable that we will have to go through my parents garage and home, as my kids will have to go through our home and garage, but I swear by all that is holy when my kids go through my life they won't say, "what in the heck did she save this for"?! They may say that about their dad's stuff, but that isn't my concern today.

When I have gone through and continue to go through my things and household items, the first question I ask myself, what is it? The second is, when did I last use it or wear it or look at it? Third, when do I think I'll use it, wear it look at it again? Fourth, do I plan to do anything of those things again? Fifth, does it make me smile? And finally, do I really want to keep it?

Those steps taken one at a time make the process easy for me, because I actually don't have to get rid of anything and when I look at it that way letting go is worth it!

Rules to live by

• You have two ears and one mouth, use your ears more.
• Paraphrased Sufi or Buddhist saying,"Does what you want to say need to be said, if it needs to be said, do you need to be the one to say it and if you have to say it say it as kindly as possible.
• Never try to fix something after midnight, most things can wait until morning.
• Live by the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you".
• Failing to plan often turns into planning to fail.
• One step at a time.
• Don't run with scissors.
• Don't say anything behind someone's back you would not say directly to them.
• Dance as if no one is watching.
• Take chances, make mistakes and get messy.
• A messy desk, house, car ... Does not mean a messy mind.
• If things are not going your way and you can't figure out what is wrong, write down or journal your days you may see a pattern that makes everything clear.
• If you haven't worn it or used it in a year, throw or better yet give it away.
• When you car first makes that funny noise consistently get it looked at, it might save you a lot of money later on.
• Look at your child's diet especially what they choose, over the course of a two week period, not daily, I bet they cover most of the food groups in the right amounts.
• Use your car's cruise control, it will save a ticket I bet.
• The chances of winning the lottery are roughly the same whether or not you buy a ticket...but if you don't buy one you will never win.
• Be the friend you wish you had.
• Give compassion and understanding not advice.
• Don't forget to take a garbage bag to a picnic.
• Reduce what you use, then reuse what you use, and as a last choice recycle.
• Smile whenever the opportunity arises.
• Life is short; live in the moment.
• Treat your family the way you treat your friends. Unless they really are miserable then treat them as politely as you would a stranger.
• When wandering a building, a fair, a city always go right.
• Fill your gas tank when the tank falls below 1/2, you never know when an emergency will occur.
• Be prepared.
• Humor goes a long long way in almost every circumstance. It often smooths over awkwardness and prevents fights.